Items Cleaned Out of my Car Today in Preparation for Travel

• 3 tennis rackets
• 2 tennis balls
• 1 basketball
• 1 baseball
• 1 soccer ball
• 1 duck feather
• 1 google map to Red Butte Gardens
• 1 google map to a restaurant which no longer exists
• 17 2nd grade assignments
• 1 set of instructions for making a bee trap
• 5 random computer wires (not cables--actual innards of a hard drive)
• 2 combs
• 1 hair tie
• 1 doll's dress
• 1 First Holy Communion certificate
• 3 pennies
• 10 rupees
• 1 laniard
• 2 ace bandages
• 1 cd bearing x-ray images of Ovi's collarbone
• 2 stuffed animals
• 4 books
• 2 Canyons School District brochures (highly disorganized district so far, btw)
• 4 dirty socks
• 1 dirty school uniform shirt
• 1 pair of really dirty shorts
• 1/2 plastic egg
• 1 superball
• 1 flashlight key chain
• 1 birthday card
• 1 bunny shaped eraser
• 4 pencils
• 1 fairy princess magic wand
• 1 fairy princess crown
• 1 pink Eiffel Tower
• 1 blue plastic ladder
• 1 large VBS sign
• 3 puzzle pieces
• 1 book authored by one of my children
• 1 Shakespearan Festival sweatshirt of unknown ownership (I guess it's mine now)
• 1 hackey sack
• 1 carabiner
• 1 canvas Pearson bag
• 3 water bottles
• 1 Pokemon hat
• 1 U of U alumni letter sent to me at my parents' house
• 1 crocodile made out of sandpaper
• 1 crocodile made out of a clothespin
• 1 princess sticker
• 1 rubber lizard
• 3 regular bracelets
• 105 jog-a-thon bracelets
• 1 gigantic bag of garbage

All of which, now resides on my living room floor.

Thought for the Day

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. — Martin Luther King, Jr.

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear Your Kids Say (all of which, of course, I have heard my kids say)

10. It wasn’t me mom, I’m just sitting back here picking my nose.

9. I found a bunch of Ovi’s hair and a pair of scissors behind the recliner.

8. I didn’t think the fence would tip over when I tackled it.

7. So how does the sperm get to the egg? Does the mom drink it?

6. Whateeeever!

5. Do you think Chris has mud in his wiener from playing in the sandbox?

4. I’ve been using a screwdriver to drill a hole in the wall from my closet to your room.

3. I’ve been in the bathroom for a whole hour, and I still have a traffic jam!

2. I swear it wasn’t my fault, but……

1. Guess what! I got my nose stuck in Yon-Paul’s leaf blower tonight.

Why Does My Computer Get Constipated?

Why is it that I can turn my computer on in the morning and all is well; then I turn it on in the afternoon and it is constipated? I can hear it digesting its megabytes very rapidly, but it's output is painfully slow. I need to figure out how to get more cyber-fiber into my computer's diet so that it doesn't get all backed up and cause clogging issues.

Not a Good Sign

It is not a good sign when you are recognized by the doctors and nurses at the fracture clinic. When I took Ovi in today to get her collarbone x-rayed (she fractured it Saturday at the Draper Rodeo--and no, I did not enter my 22 lb child in mutton busters!), both the x-ray tech and the doctor recognized me. "Yes", I say, "I've been here before. My other daughter has been here for a broken foot (dropping down from the monkey bars), and one of my sons has also been here for a broken foot. He put on a Superman cape and thought he could fly."

I am also recognized by doctors and nurses at the After Hours InstaCare on 1300 E. and 7800 S. I highly recommend this clinic, by the way. I have never waited more than 15 minutes and the staff is very friendly. And if your daughter happens to hit your son in the head with a bucket, they are very good with stitches and kids.

The New Five Word Sentence

For several months Ovi has been saying practical 3 word sentences such as "I want cereal", "Mama go byb-bye", and "Ovi go ni-night". Then, about a week ago she surprised me with a very clear 5 word sentence: "I need help getting socks." It was the clearest and longest sentence in English that she had spoken thus far. Then, for a week, no more 5 word sentences. This afternoon, she uttered her second very clear 5 word sentences.

First, I will recount the events leading up to the noteworthy event:

Chris: Mom, can I flood the sandbox and play in the mud?
Mom: Sure, just don't leave the hose on too long. It doesn't take much water to fill it.
Chris: Thanks mom!
Laura: Can I go out too?
Mom: Sure.
Laura: Do I have to wear a shirt? Or can I just wear shorts like Chris?
Mom: Just shorts is fine.
Laura: Thanks mom!

About 30 minutes passes.

Ovi: I want cereal.
Mom: Ok.

At this point, Ovi is sitting at the table in the kitchen eating cereal and Laura comes to the back door.

Laura: Mom! Mooooooom!
Mom: What?
Laura: I'm done. I'm ready to come in and get in the shower.
Mom: Ok. Leave your muddy clothes on the back steps, then walk on your tiptoes up the shower and TOUCH NOTHING!

Laura drops her clothes on the back steps, then streaks through the kitchen fully clothed in mud--head to toe. Ovi lets out a shriek of delight, begins to laugh, and says:

"Laura has a dirty bum!"

Thus, on her journey of learning English, my daughter now possesses two 5 word sentences:

"I need help getting socks." and "Laura has a dirty bum"

I think all foreign language instruction should begin with these two useful sentences.

Reading Recommendations of a 10 Year Old

Joshua Stephenson's Top 15 Favorites:
(as emailed to his mother last night)

1 Harry Potter: Series of 7 Author J.K. Rowling
2 Fablehaven: Series of 5 Author Brandon Mull
3 Deltora Quest: Series of 8 Author Emily Rodda
4 Dragon Series: Series of 4 Author Chris D'Lacey
5 Magic Tree House: Growing Series Current Amount 42 Author Mary Pope Osborne
6 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Series of 3 Author Jeff Kinney
7 Mrs Frisby and the Rats of Nimh: not a series Author Robert C O'Brien
8 Rangers Apprentice: series of 5 or 6 Author John Flanagan
9 Percy Jackson and the Olympians: series of 5 Author Rick Riordan
10 Ghost Letters: not a series Author Steven Alter
11 The Gideon Trilogy: series of 3 Author Linda Buckley-Archer
12 Junie B. Jones: series of 27Author Barbara Park
13 Eragon: series of 3 Author Christopher Paolini
14 A Series of Unfortunate Events: series of 14 Author Lemony Snickett
15: The Homework Machine: not a series Author Dan Gutman

Measuring Time

My life is measured in semesters. And within each semester it is measured according to what week of the semester it is, where I am in my curriculum, where I am in my grading, and what holidays are coming up. Without such measurement, I have no idea how to keep track of time. For the first time in 24 semesters, I am not teaching and it feels as though I'm living in a time warp. While I have given up on trying to know what day of the week it is, I do need some way of measuring time this summer, so I've established the following system:

• number of pages read
• number of miles walked (and then hopefully run if my stomach heals enough from surgery to resume running this summer)
• number of words written for the sheer pleasure of writing
• number of points earned on Guitar Hero
• number of hours spent in the sun
• number of episodes of Star Trek (original series) viewed
• number of movies viewed on the Netflix queue
• number of days sleeping in past 8:00

How I Love Thee INS

I got so excited when I went to the mailbox today because there was a letter from Social Security. We have been waiting for 8 months now for Ovi to receive a social security number so that we can officially adopt her and finish this 2 1/2 year process. (India grants guardianship, but does not officially allow adoption, so we have to finish that in the US.) Anyway, we've been waiting on the INS process for months, and at long last (or so I thought) the expedient US government was sending her social security number.

Turns out it was just a statement of my "contributions".

Oh well. Waiting is par for the course by now.

While the government may be intolerably slow, Ovi's adjustment has been quick and strong. When I look at pictures over the past months, I can see her emotional/social growth just in the way she looks.

In India (early November)

Late November.

January

February

May

Sweet Waves of Summer

Home sweet home in quiet suburban Sandy

Sweet minivan driving soccer mom

And her (mostly) sweet children

"We're going to the zoo? Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet"

I'm certain this will be a sweet and memorable day.

Aunt Heidi and Uncle Robb are going to watch the kids? Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet!

I have several hours ALONE

What will I do with myself?

I could go to work and be productive

Or.....................I could go across the street

My sister knows a guy named Catfish who works here. Hmmm

"Come on in to my office"

Snaaaap

My tattoo artist reads. I like that.

He also collects organs. Hmmmm

Will this hurt more or less than the dentist's office?

Into every life a little pain must fall.

(BTW, these tools sound a lot like the dentist's)

Ah, wraith of the woods looking down on me, you'll keep me company while I lie here, won't you?

"Ow, fuckity ow!!!!"

"How long did you say this was going to take?"

"Awhile."

Sweet waves of summer!